A New Beginning

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Talifan
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A New Beginning

#1 Post by Talifan »

This is the first of my novels that I am working on. I am wanting it to be very very loosely based on Warhammer, with the main Characters and their country somewhat like the High Elves that we all love and play with. I have altered things as best as I can and am now asking for some help from the rest of you. I should have done this sooner than now, as I am currently working on Chapter 10. I shall post the first 4 chapters and all I ask is for advice on what I should change if anything(I am almost certain that things will be changed but thats why I am asking for advice). Without keeping you longer, here is A New Beginning


A New Beginning
A Novel by Daniel Harcus

Chapter 1

A blood curdling scream escaped from the half dead champion. Talifan pulled his axe from the mans scull.
“Is there no other who would dare to challenge me?” Talifan stood alone in the middle of the battle field. “Well? No other who is brave enough?”
A lone figure strode out from the Duke of Rathskul’s personal guard.
“I, Lord St. Jean, challenge you elf! Let us see how you fare against someone who is better than all others!”
“I hope you like the color red Lord, for that will be the color of your outsides after your entrails are spilled!”
Talifan and St. Jean circled each other, looking for a gap in the others defence. St. Jean lunged at his adversary, hoping to strike a killing or critical blow as he had seen what he had thought was a gap. Instead of a gap in Talifan’s defence, he opened himself up to the Triapian Woodsmen Captains deadly speed. Talifan struck faster than any bolt of lightning that the Gods could have designed. A quick side step and a sweep of his arm, Talifan’s axe Sunder ripped through the Mentrian Lord’s neck, severing it from his body. A howl of pure hatred and anguish erupted from the Mentrian army at the other side of the valley. Without command, they charged towards Talifan and the Elven lines. Talifan rejoined his unit and manouvered it to protect his lord, as his unit was the personal guard of the Elven King, King Reithar. Looking towards his lord, Talifan got the nod from the king for the defence of Alandaria to commence with a vengeance. Already the Elven cavalry was speeding forwards, supported by glittering units of spearmen and swarms of arrows loosed by the hundreds of Elven archers. There was an almighty crash as the two sides collided, Elven lances and swords quickly disposing those they came into contact with. Men and horse screamed and bellowed in agony and fear as the stronger and quicker elves began hacking and slicing their way through the tightly packed ranks of human warriors.
Only one area of the human line was not over run in the initial charge. The human Knights were powerful and heavily armoured. It was this area that the sil-ent warriors of the Gold Watch were doing their duty. The Gold Watch was joined by Talifan’s Woodsmen and both units wielded giant axe’s whose razor thin edges could slice a large tree clean in half with little effort. Talifan and Alyaidron were fighting side by side, swinging in unison at both the horses and the Knights themselves. Blood spurted from all around as axe found flesh. The screams of the dieing drowned out the sounds of the more distant areas of the battle field as the fighting continued long into the day.
* * * * * *
Gore crows circled the valley. Elven voices were raised in song of sorrow and praise for those who fought to secure their home land of Alandaria. King Reithar walked with Talifan and Alyaidron, the captains of the Triapian Woodsmen and the Gold Watch, surveying the battle field. The King’s eyes were wandering over the field, taking in the amount of dead. He himself had stayed back from the initial charge and had joined battle with the human Knights once they were the last ones standing.
“How many did we lose Talifan?”
“We lost about seven and twenty my lord, half that number wounded.”
“So few? I would have thought more brave soldiers would have been lost or wounded. The fighting was fierce enough to have warranted it”
“My lord, our force numbered three times the size of the Mentrian raiding party. They numbered but several thousand, our force numbered over ten thousand. To have lost the numbers that we did against such a small force is not a good thing”
Reithar looked at Talifan as they walked, a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “You speak your mind my friend, and for that I thank you.” Reithar stopped walking and turned to face Talifan. “What would you suggest we do about our situation? We are so few in number that those who we do lose, we are the worst off for having lost them. We have been in decline for centuries. In the age of Tranthalar the Sage we grew wealthy and lazy. We as a race and nation need to start an age of repopulation Talifan. Our country can support hundreds of thousands more citizens, our cities are empty, whole villages lay abandoned as those who lived there seek out a better life in the cities.”
“I know what you are saying Milord Reithar. Mine own beloved Triapian is so empty. Tria-Thor is a shadow of its former glory. We used to be able to muster fifty thousand warriors, now barely a fifth that number can be mustered. Your own Triapian Woodsmen guards are at a quarter of their former strength. May I make a suggestion my lord that may remedy this population scarcity?”
Slightly smiling knowingly, Reithar replied to the request. “You should know by now my old friend that you do not need to ask permission to speak. We have known each other now for more than half a century. Please by all means tell me your idea as I am sure that it is a wondrous idea.”
Talifan stopped walking and turned to face his oldest friend and his King. The King’s face was weary while his golden eyes sparkled with a youthful exuberance that was echoed in the spry steps of the King. Talifan had to remember that it was his King he was addressing, and not just some friend. It took Talifan several moments to clear his thoughts and order his words.
“My lord, I do know that I do not need to seek permission to ask a question, as you yourself have said, we have known each other for more than half a century. I thought that as we were in a formal position on a former field of battle it would be best if I used a formal tone with you.”
Reithar looked from Talifan to Alyaidron, the ever silent due to his oath of silence. He knew he would not get any ideas or questions from the silent warrior, so he looked back at Talifan who had an expectant look in his eyes.
“Let us continue this discussion in my command tent, and before we get there I pray that you will ask this question of yours Talifan. You have stirred my interest to a level that has not been reached since before the Battle of Tamathian. I want to hear this idea of yours as quickly as possible so that I have time to think it over, if it be a reasonable idea.”
The three battle hardened veterans started off again towards the center of the Elven camp with Reithar leading the way. The King’s own command tent stood out from the other command tents used by the general and squad leaders. The King’s tent was visible from a great distance due to its emerald green and sapphire blue pennants. They fluttered in the light breeze that had sprung up in the last few hours of the dieing day. Soldiers ran back and forth between medical tents, battalion head quarters, and the tents that had been set aside to house those who had perished during the battle. As the King and his two top commanders passed, they were saluted by all they passed. With each step, they drew nearer to the Kings Command tent, and Talifan knew that his time was running out of time to tell the King of his idea. Clearing his throat, Talifan took a deep breath, and started to describe his idea to his friend and King.
“My lord King, the idea that I have is in regards to the population, or lack there of population. The idea that I have is why do we not implement a program that would show the country that their King is behind them in having children?”
The idea must have stunned King Reithar, for he suddenly stopped walking. Turning to Talifan, Reithar asked a question in response to the idea that was offered by Talifan.
“I’m afraid I don’t follow you my friend. Are you suggesting that we offer an incentive for the population to have children?”
“I am my lord. Let us as friends say that for every male child born, the Crown will pay one hundred gold coins till the child reaches his fifteenth year and then the crown will pay for his first five years of training. For all female children born, the Crown would pay the same amount of gold to the family till the child reaches her fifteenth year.”
Reithar motioned for them to finish the trip to his command tent as he pondered the idea he had been presented. Stopping just outside of the tent, Reithar stopped and looked at his companions.
“Let us go inside and sit while we discuss this idea you have given me. I feel that some serious thought is required on this matter and time is what will be required as well. Alyaidron if you would not mind getting some drinks for us while I get some light and heat going so that we can be more comfortable. Talifan can you please clean off the table and bring up some more chairs, I have the feeling that we will need more than there are. Once I am done with my task, I will ask Aramil to bring us some food later on as I feel that we will be here for a while.”
Alyaidron bowed deeply. “It would be an honour Milord.”
As Talifan started clearing the table of the scrolls of battle plans and other military scrolls, Alyaidron strode over to a cabinet that held goblets of the most pure white marble to be found in all the lands, and several bottles of the best wine in all of Alandaria. Selecting three golden goblets studded with sapphires, emeralds, rubies, and garnets. Alyaidron then selected a bottle of wine that had been vinted in Talifan’s home village of Tria-Thor in Triapia. As he removed the stopper, an aroma of cinnamon, lavender, grapes, cherries, and honey arose from the bottle. He shuddered with the power of desire that shook his body. Licking his lips, Alyaidron took his precious cargo back to the table that Talifan was still working on cleaning up. Tapping Talifan on the shoulder, he held the bottle out for him to smell, a mischievous smile on his face. Talifan took a long smell, savouring the sweet scents that greeted his nose.
“My friend you know quality when you see it, or should I say smell it. This is one of the best vintages in all the land. You will want more when this bottle is done, I can assure you of that.”
“Oh I do not doubt your words my friend. Just the smell alone has me wanting to down several barrels.”
Talifan clapped Alyaidron on the shoulder as they walked back over to the table. They sat down after a few moments more of fevered tidying. Reithar walked back into the tent followed by Aramil and several others who carried platters of fruit and meat for those who would be present during the discussions.
“Thank you my friends for your assistance. Aramil, if we require anything else we shall send for you or for one of your senior cooks.”
Once all had left, Reithar sat down and turned to his two companions who had sat waiting patiently for their King to finish his business with Aramil.
“Now my friend Talifan, the idea that you have, very well might work. The only thing that disturbs me is that we do not know how the Elder Council will react and it is up to them to approve all that turns into law. We will need to word it perfectly so that they can try to understand what is at stake if it is not passed.”
“My lord, the Elder Council will accept this idea without any hindrance. I know this as they have been looking for a way to solve the problem of a low population for a long time now. My own uncle has told me so many times in the past.”
“Talifan, what you say about the Elder Council seeking a solution to this problem comes as a surprise to me. As this is your idea, what would you like to see written as the description of the incentive program? It would honour me if you would assist in the drafting of the program.”
Reithar looked at his old friend as a look of shock and awe swept over his face. Reithar smiled to himself, knowing the honour that he had given to Talifan.
“I thank you my friend, and my Liege for such an honour!” Talifan finally managed to choke out. “I believe that just how I presented the idea is how it should be written, so as not to complicate any matters that may arise from the presentation to the Council.”
Taking a quill and a piece of parchment, Talifan wrote out the incentive program how he wanted and thought it should be written:

By decree of the Elder Council and King Reithar, for all male children who are born, the crown shall give one hundred gold coins per annum until the child is of age to start military training at which point, the crown will pay for the first five years of his formal training. For all female children born the crown shall give fifty gold coins per annum until age of training as if the child were male. If the female child wishes to join the ranks of the Faerondalan Guard, the Crown shall pay for her first five years.

“What say you my lord? How does it read? I know little of how things such as this should be worded in preparation of presentation. “
Reithar looked over what was written on the parchment then re-read it. Picking up his goblet, Reithar sipped and thought for some time. Talifan and Alyaidron looked at each other, a look of misunderstanding passing between them Alyaidron shrugged his shoulders.
“Who knows what passes through our great King’s mind at the best of times, let alone at a time like this General. It is best to allow him to clear his thoughts as best as he can before we can even attempt to comprehend what it is he may be thinking.”
Talifan looked back over to where the King stood, his back to the table where they sat.
“You are right Alyaidron. It would take a life time to try to figure out how the King thinks and why he thinks the way he does.” Looking back at Alyaidron, Talifan asked “I am curious as to what your thoughts on this subject are. Please be honest with your thoughts. Is it a good idea do you think?”
Now it was Alyaidron himself who was forced to take some time and think on the question that was asked of him. The time taken to think on the matter was only a matter of seconds.
“I personally think that it is a great idea. It will hopefully give our race its splendour back, along with our hope for a bright and better future. With the rise in population, we will be able to protect our great country from those who would wish to take it from us.”
The voice of the King surprised both Talifan and Alyaidron.
“I am so glad that you like the idea Commander. I will admit that I agree with all that you have said. Your words echo my own thoughts in every way. The idea is to my liking, and I will give it all of my support. I am sure that the Elder Council will approve it, or at the least, approve something along the same lines as to what you are suggesting. I propose, General, that you accompany myself to back to the capital. As soon as we arrive back in Ansalanon, I shall call a meeting of the Elder Council to discuss and debate this idea of yours Talifan. I have no doubt that it will be allowed to pass with little or no hindrance and I would also like you to come and talk about the program, Talifan, as it was your idea.”
“My Lord Reithar, I am honoured to be asked to talk in front of the Elder Council. When would we be leaving for Ansalanon?”
“We will be leaving in several days for Anthir, on the coast. From there we will take ship back to Ansalanon. How does that sound to you my friend?”
“It sounds perfect to me Sire. I have not set foot in fair Ansalanon for more than three decades. To leaving to Ansalanon in two days!”
“Ansalanon in two days!”
All three raised their goblets in salute to the dead, the wounded, and those still alive.
© 2010
[color=#FF0080]Live and Fight with Honour, for We are the Most Noble[/color]
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Talifan
Posts: 708
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 12:13 pm
Location: Saphery (Alberta, Canada)

Re: A New Beginning

#2 Post by Talifan »

Chapter 2


The ship rocked gently beneath the feet of Talifan and King Reithar as it made its way into the dock of Ansalanon. With slow deliberate ease, the ships Captain steered it towards an empty berth on the dock. Using his expert knowledge of his ship and ropes thrown to those on shore, the ship docked within minutes. As the supplies that were onboard the vessel were unloaded, a gangplank was lowered from the side to allow the King and his General to disembark after their journey from Anthir, three days journey to the north.
“Smell that air Talifan! The sweet smell of Ansalanon’s fish markets and spice stalls! Nothing smells as good as they do in my personal opinion.” Reithar looked over at Talifan as they disembarked from their ship. Talifan stood for a moment and took a deep breath through his nose, holding it for a few seconds before letting it out through his mouth.
“Smells like home my Lord. Tria-Thor smells just as beautiful, but it is more of a perfume due to all the wild flowers. The dozens of varieties of roses, lilies, and the rich smell of the Blood Moon Orchid. It is good to be back in our fair capital of Ansalanon.”
Looking towards the stalls of the market, Talifan noticed a noble whom he recognised but whom he had not seen for many years. The noble was tall, as all elves are, but he had hair that none other present possessed. His hair was a mixture of raven black, moon white, and had strands of the purist of silver. He slowly turned towards Talifan and Reithar, recognition quickly filling his features. Talifan rushed ahead towards the noble and as they met in the middle of the distance, they embraced like long lost family members, as that is what they were.
“It does my heart good to see you after so long a time my nephew! It has been far too long since we last talked. You are look so much like my dear brother. What brings you to my fair home away from home?”
“It does my heart good as well my uncle! It has been too many moons since we last talked, but you have not changed one little bit since then. The Gods must like you to keep you so fair looking! As to what brings me to the fair Ansalanon, it is a matter of state, urgency and a little of friendship and commanding. I am here with our King Reithar to meet with the Elder Council to discuss a matter that is of grave importance for the whole of Alandaria and our people.”
Amanthri, Talifan’s uncle, stood silent for a few seconds, thinking over what his nephew had just told him. Turning to King Reithar, Amanthri bowed low showing his love for the king.
“Hail my Lord! I pray to the Gods that you are in good health and spirits?”
“Hail Amanthri. I am doing very well thank you my friend. It was a good campaign for us, but we have decided that some things need to be implemented so that the future of our race is more secure. Will you be joining us for the talks?”
“I will be more than happy to be among the Elder Council when we have you visit us my King. Any matter that is of concern for the future of our people is going to be met with cool heads, fast minds, and swift action.”
Amanthri looked from Reithar to Talifan and back. He was trying to gage how grave the matter they were talking about could really be, so that he would be able to get a head start on his thought process.
“What does this matter consist of my lord? It must have something to do with the small size of our population for it to be such a grave issue. Am I accurate King Reithar?”
Reithar and Talifan looked at each other with an expression of pained guilt, both wrestling with inner demons as they sorted their own private thoughts. Talifan looked at his uncle after a few minutes, his facial features showing none of the previous emotions that had been evident mere moments earlier.
“Uncle, what we have to say on the question posed is not to be spoken of past the three of us, until spoken of to the Elder Council. If what we are proposing is passed, then our race and nation will once again be the most formidable on this earth. It will mean a new beginning for us and our race.”
Amanthri glanced from his nephew to the king, seeking conformation that what he had just been told was accurate. Reithar nodded his head in response to the un-answered question Amanthri’s eyes asked.
“My lord Reithar, I will be there when the meeting is called, and can say with utmost certainty that any matter that deals with population changes for the better will be discussed urgently and any ideas to remedy the situation will be passed quickly. Till we meet again in the Great Hall, may your stay be safe and happy.”
Talifan and Reithar bid fair well to Amanthri, and headed in the direction of the Imperial Palace so that they could rest and recuperate after the three day voyage.

* * * * *


























“King Reithar, Captain Talifan, welcome to the Great Hall. All members of the Elder Council have gathered to hear what you both have to say. Lord Amanthri had personally asked all members to be in attendance as he stated that what you have come to discuss are of grave matters and are of the utmost importance.”
“Thank you for the warm welcome Lord Ivelerost. We met Lord Amanthri when we arrived four days back at the docks. Please lead us to the main chamber.”
“As you wish my King, please follow me this way.”
As Lord Ivelerost led Talifan and Reithar to the main chamber, Talifan thought all about what had transpired in the last few days. After they had arrived at the Imperial Palace, Talifan and Reithar spent a day relaxing and just getting rested up from the several weeks they spent in the woods as they tracked the Mentrian invading force from where they landed in Natrian to where the Elven force confronted and obliterated the entire invading force. It was another two days from the site of the confrontation to the edge of the Lunar Sea, and the three day voyage by ship to the capital of Alandaria. After they rested, Reithar and Talifan discussed how they would deal with the population situation, trying to get a more concrete plan and incentives program hammered out. After hours and hours of talking and discussing, Reithar and Talifan had changed little in the plan that Talifan had personally laid out days before after the battle. After all the talking had been done, Talifan had dispatched a messenger to take a letter informing his family as to where he was and what he was doing, they hated not knowing where he was and were always worried about his safety as Talifan is the most loved Elf in all of Triapia . Talifan had also spent a day talking to some of the members of the Elder Council personally so that they would be aware of the gravity of what would be discussed.

His thoughts were interrupted as they approached two ornate wooden doors with dragons and phoenix flying in a circle over the Rathialian Mountains, depicting how the Elven kingdom of Alandaria would be around for all time. As the doors were pushed open, a wave of sound swept over Talifan and Reithar. The chamber was packed to over filling, as scholars and law makers packed the hall to hear what would be said on a matter so serious as to bring the King and his best General to talk about it with the Elder Council. Amanthri stood at the front of the room, his hair sparkling in the light of the sun as it shone through the Lord Dragon carved into the marble of the roof. It was sealed off with glass so that the weather could not interfere with any gatherings.
“My fellow councilmen, please stand and welcome King Reithar and General Talifan to the hall. They are here to discuss an issue of grave importance that will have profound implications for all of Alandaria.”
All elves present stood and cheered, they called out their praise of the King and some even shouted their praise for Talifan.
“Thank you all for your praise and your loyalty. Please be seated.” All present who were still standing took their seats, preparing for a long day of discussion on a matter that they knew was of grave importance. “As Lord Amanthri said during his introduction, General Talifan and I are here to discuss a matter that, if fixed now, will change the face of our fair country and will also change the way our race is viewed by the lesser races of man.”
As Reithar spoke, members of the council muttered to one another about the severity of the situation that was being outlined for them. One council member, Lord Evenstar, stood.
“My Lord Reithar, what matter is of such great import that it would be noticed outside of our own realm?”
Reithar stood quietly for a few moments, looking from one councilman to another. After a few moments of silence, he cleared his throat and waited for the murmuring to die into silence.
“Councilmen, our race faces a grave problem. Just a week ago General Talifan and I led a force of ten thousand against an invading army of one third that size from one of the races of man. In that battle, we lost over seven hundred men. When I stated that those were low numbers, General Talifan made a comment that even loosing half that number was a grave loss as we are a declining race. General Talifan has come up with an incentive program that will allow our population to grow more rapidly that it has in the last millennia. The incentive program would state that the crown would pay a lump sum or a yearly sum of gold for all children who are born once the program comes into effect. The program would also allow for the crown to pay for five years of military training for both male and female children who wish to pursue a military career.”
Lord Evenstar again stood, asking for a chance to speak his mind on what had been presented so far.
“My King Reithar, I am all for an incentive program that will award families for having children so that our population and our country will be strong again. What would be the cost of the incentive for the crown per family? Would the families get the same amount of incentives for a male child as they would for a female child?”
There were murmurs of agreement, and some of wonder at the questions posed to their king. They all looked at Reithar to see how he would react to the questions. Reithar looked over at Talifan and nodded his head, indicating that the floor was now Talifan’s. Talifan took a few strides forward, asking for the council to acknowledge that he was going to speak. Once silence fell after a few moments and all eyes were turned on the Captain.
“My Lord Evenstar those were very good questions. I would be honoured to answer those questions, if you would allow me to. The ideas that our King and I came up with were formulated after our battle with the invading force. We agreed that the crown would pay fifteen hundred gold coins and an additional five hundred gold coins for all male children. The fifteen hundred would cover the first fifteen years of the male child’s life, and the other five hundred will cover all the equipment needed for military training to start at the age of fifteen. The cost to be covered will be the cost of his fist five years. For families who have a female child, the crown will give one thousand gold coins. If the child should decide to join the Faerondalan Guard, then the crown will cover her first five years of training as well. King Reithar is willing to alter these numbers should they be either to low or too high in cost. What do you as the Elder Council think of these costs?”
The council members were talking amongst themselves, discussing the costs that would be incurred to the crown. Lord Evenstar and Lord Amanthri were deep in discussion. Lords Amanthri and Evenstar were members of the oldest families in Alandaria and both had immense power in the Elder Council. As they finished talking to each other, all the other council members stopped what they were doing to see what they would say. There was a long moment of silence as Lord Amanthri and Lord Evenstar organised their thoughts on the matter. While the two Lords were finalizing their thoughts, King Reithar and General Talifan stood and waited at the front of the room, all eyes on the four powerful men. After what seemed to be an eternity, Lord Evenstar stood to voice his opinion on the matter.
“My Lord General Talifan and my King Reithar, I must be honest with the matter that is before us. It is a grave matter, our lack of population, and so it must be treated with great respect. The idea that you have presented here for us, General Talifan, is one that I find myself agreeing to, yet I am hesitant to approve of it in the condition it is in at the moment. Lord Amanthri and I think that we have a solution for the parts of the plan that we have a disagreement with. We believe that the incentives are proper, as to raise a child is expensive as is the cost for training. The problem we have is where the funds will come from to pay for the incentives. Lord Amanthri as you know is in charge of the finances of the crown, and he has informed me that the crown possesses the funds required to implement the program. Lord Amanthri has also told me that the crown receives a large amount of gold in trade every year, more than enough to pay the incentive every year. However, the incentive program should not be left solely up to the crown to pay. Lord Amanthri and I propose that all the noble families help off set the cost to the crown by paying a set amount. The set amount that we have come up with is a cost of twenty thousand five hundred gold per year for the next fifteen years. At the end of the fifteen year period, should the noble families be able to pay a little more, then they can do so after an agreement with the Elder Council is reached on the amount to be paid to the crown.”
The council chambers were silent for a few moments as the words of Lord Evenstar took root in the minds of the other council members. The other members talked among themselves for some time, discussing the reasons to agree with the proposed changes and the reasons not to agree. Finally one member stood, asking to be recognised so that he may speak. Slowly the council chambers fell into silence for another round of talking and discussing.
“My lords, for those who do not know me, I am Lord Favilian. I must say that I disagree with the amount asked of the Noble families to pay the crown per year. I must say that personally I find the set amount, well, to small. I know that my family can afford to pay double the amount per year, and some of the other families can pay double the amount that Lords Amanthri and Evenstar have set. I challenge all the lords present who know that their families can pay double to stand and be counted. The incentive program is what our country has needed for some time now. My lords, please stand and state how much your family is willing to pay the crown to help with the rebuilding of our great country!”
As soon as Lord Favilian finished speaking, all the other members of the council stood. They looked around them selves, taking note how many others had stood up. As one, the all raised their right fists to their hearts and said “We pledge forty one thousand gold coins per year in the name of the crown for the next fifteen years for the incentive program!”
Reithar strode forward to the edge of the platform on which he stood. Looking about him at all the faces of the Noble families in Alandaria, he noted the pride they all showed for their country, and their people.
“Thank you all my friends. With your help our race will once again come to be a force of the light against the darkness that is slowly creeping outward from the kingdoms of man. In time, our cities will once again be bursting at the walls; our armies will once again be filled with skilled warriors from all over our vast home land. Let the word be spread! From this point forward, the incentive program is operational and all families who have children from this day forth shall be rewarded!”
A great cheer erupted from the gathered members of Elven society. Runners were dispatched with the new edicts and all the lords present sent their own runners back to their homes so that the word can be spread to more of Alandaria’s population. The new age had begun, and it was to be just the beginning of the changes. Talifan and Reithar were joined by Lord Amanthri on the stage.
“Congratulations my King, and my nephew. You did what you had set out to do, but I am sure that you did not expect the Noble families to be behind you in such a grand way. It is honestly the greatest day in our history in more than three centuries.”
“Thank you for your kind and loyal words Lord Amanthri. Your nephew has spoken of you in the past and all he has said is true, you really are one of the most loyal subjects any king can ask for. I am honoured to have you as a member of the Imperial Court. Would you like to join us for dinner tonight Lord Amanthri? It would be an honour to dine with my best General and his kin.”
Lord Amanthri thought for a few seconds before responding. “I would be honoured to dine with you my King.”
All three walked out of the hall, talking about the future that lay ahead for the Elven nation.
© 2010
[color=#FF0080]Live and Fight with Honour, for We are the Most Noble[/color]
[color=#0000FF]2012 Games - (W/L/D) 49-1-0[/color]
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Talifan
Posts: 708
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 12:13 pm
Location: Saphery (Alberta, Canada)

Re: A New Beginning

#3 Post by Talifan »

Chapter 3


A light dusting of snow crunched under Talifan’s boots as he walked through a small glen nestled in the shadows of the Elandi Mountains. He was here with a purpose, and that purpose was to kill yet another marauding beast that had wandered into settled lands and had killed those who tried to defend their homes. It had taken him more than a week to get here with his troops as he had been in the capital with King Reithar and his uncle Amanthri.

After the voting had taken place and all the runners had been sent out to spread the word, Talifan had settled down to relax for a few days and catch up with his uncle but that plan had been interrupted when a runner came looking for him. Talifan shook his head at the remembering of it, as it was a sour memory that he wanted to be rid of. He still didn’t believe that a lammasu was in the area. No one had seen one and lived to tell about it so the thought of having to face a beast with human intelligence was a little more worrisome than it should have been, but that was what friends were for. To his left and right were a dozen more Triapian Woodsmen. All were hand picked from the Kings bodyguard, the best of the best. They were silent as the night, and knew the area as well as anyone could. Talifan’s second in command, Velenost, who was out on the far right, gave a shout and spouted a litany of curses that caught Talifan off guard as he had never heard his friend swear before in his one hundred and thirteen years of life.
“What is causing you to swear like a human sailor Velenost?”
“We have something that’s very big here Captain! I don’t think it’s a lammasu, but something way bigger and more dangerous!”
“What do you mean Velenost?” Talifan was walking over to where Velenost was standing. “We have several descriptions that it is a lammasu, and now you’re telling me its not?”
“Trust me Captain; it’s not a lammasu at all. Take a look at the print here in front of me.”
Talifan reached Velenost, pushing his way through the group of hunters who had gathered around what had been found in the snow. There, deep in the snow was a print that was far more worrisome than that of a lammasu and more than three times the size. It was fresh, maybe a few hours old, and was the biggest print any of the hunters had seen.
“I think we are going to need some more help on this one now boys. I really was not wanting to face something as bad as a lammasu, let alone something that is far worse than one.” Talifan stated with a little humour in his voice, causing the others to chuckle a little. Looking at Velenost with some fear in his eyes, Talifan raised the silver horn he carried at his hip to his lips and blew several long blasts followed by a short blast and then three long ones yet again. After a few seconds, one of his men turned to him. “Do you think they are within ear shot of the horn Captain? We are a fair way away from the last location that we had left them.” Talifan laughed, as did many of the others assembled.
“I’m sure they are already on their way here my friend. You have not seen the “help” that we can call on have you? It is quite a site to see.” Turning back to the small force around him he said “Now all we do is wait, and they will get here shortly. Set up camp for now men. We rest and eat. At least make some fires and warm up for it is quite cold.”
The men split into groups, some groups set up shelters, some set to making fires, and yet others set to preparing food for all who were present. Once all was ready, all members of the party sat on logs that had been found and ate warm broths with vegetables and bread. When they had finished eating, it had now been several hours since the horn was blown and the men were getting a little discouraged. Talifan didn’t want to admit it, but he himself was getting discouraged as it had never taken so long for the help to arrive. He voiced his concerns to his second after inviting him into his tent.
“They should have been here by now Velenost. I’m now not sure that they could have heard the sound of the horn, maybe they were to far away to hear it.”
Velenost stood and paced a few times before answering his commander.
“Maybe they have run into trouble of some kind? They should have been able to hear the horn, they have the best hearing in the…” Before Velenost could finish his sentence fierce growls and roars pierced the air from all around the camp along with the war cries of hardened warriors. All the woodsmen in the camp picked up their great axes and stood back to back, facing towards the sound, some showing a slight amount of fear. Talifan and Velenost ran out of the tent, weapons in hand. They took several seconds to take stock of the situation. The area became silent before Talifan had joined his men causing the night to sound much more quiet than it really was. Taking the horn up in his hands, he yet again blew the horn in the same pattern as before. Silence fell for only a matter of seconds before a roar and a yell broke out from the north of the camp. Talifan again blew on the horn, this time a shallow quiet note emanated from the instrument. As with the last time, a few seconds elapsed before it was answered. This time however, it was not a guttural roar and war cry that came in reply, it was soft purring alone that came from the same direction as the first reply.
“Come forth my friends, step into the light.” called Talifan. “Stand down woodsmen. You don’t need your axes for these exquisite animals and those with them. Our reinforcements have arrived at last.”
As the men in camp started to relax, out of the shadows surrounding the camp strode more than a dozen huge Triapian Tigers with another thirty Woodsmen. The tigers were all the size of a large horse, pure white in color with a light creamy mane and tail bob. All of the tigers had been lovingly groomed and their long thick manes had braids on either side. Their shoulders were covered in plates of shiny armour designed to protect the more vulnerable parts of the magnificent creatures. Talifan walked over to greet the leader of the group of Woodsmen who had just arrived with the great cats as they sat in the warmth of the bigger fires. All the cats were very relaxed and purring as they licked their paws and just rested from their long journey.
“Welcome to the party soldier. What took you so long?”
The Woodsmen Talifan talked to smiled, his teeth flashing in the night.
“My apologies Commander, but our furry friends here stopped for a quick bite to eat.” Talifan shook his head and chuckled at the news. He then went to greet the cats. As he neared the great cats, he spoke to the one who seemed to be the leader as he held his head higher than all the others. Bowing to the great cat, he waited to see how he would be greeted. After a few tense seconds, the magnificent animal bowed its own head, indicating that Talifan could approach without fear of being attacked. Once Talifan reached the side of the tiger, he reached out and scratched it under the chin and behind the ears as though he knew that the cat liked to be scratched there.
“I knew you were following us you little poof ball. I’m not that silly as to know that you and your friends were not behind us. I thank you for protecting us big man even if we did not need it as it was an uneventful few days.”
Purring, the tiger that Talifan was talking to rolled onto his back, his paws in the air. Talifan dug his fingers into the furry belly, scratching and tickling the big pussy cat who was also a very dangerous killing machine. Velenost walked over and also bowed to the great cat, asking to have the honour to be in the graceful creature’s presence. With a slight upside down nod of its head and still purring like a meek kitten, the big cat granted Velenost’s request. Cautiously approaching the giant kitten and Talifan, Velenost knelt beside his commander.
“Commander Talifan, how are you able to be so close and play with him like he is a kitten without fearing for your safety?”
Talifan smiled more than he was already, glancing over at his right hand man.
“This is my friend Silver Paw and I raised him from when he was just a few days old. His mother was killed by one of the men in the King’s Guard. I found him and his siblings here almost dead from starvation. I have been with them for more than five years now and they have been great friends with me and our brothers ever since..”
Velenost looked amazed. He looked around him and counted fourteen of the giant cats.
“You mean to tell me that all of these tigers are your friends? That you raised them yourself and that they are loyal to you?”
Talifan chuckled to himself lightly. Looking at Silver Paw, Talifan scratched under his chin a little harder, and kissed him on the nose.
“These wondrous creatures are like my brothers and sisters. They don’t talk, but I have confided in them all of my secrets, they are there to listen to my fears and troubles. All of them are very dear to my heart, but this one more so than the others as he is allot like his great sire. Look at him very closely. Who do you see in him?”
Velenost looked at Silver Paw for several minutes before his head snapped back to look at Talifan. The awe and wonder was evidently stamped in to his eyes.
“He can’t be…is it possible? Is it really possible? Can he be descended from Tassider?”
“I first noticed the similarities when he was just months old. I had taken Tassider’s pelt off and had it draped over a chair when Silver walked up it and lay beside the chair. He just lay there with his head up, right beside the head of Tassider. He looked identical and it just got more obvious as he got older. They are all similar to their grand sire, but Silver Paw more so. He is more intelligent and far more powerful than his grand sire ever was. Wrestling with him was nothing compared to wrestling with this one here, he wins more than I do!”
Velenost sat quiet for some time after Talifan finished speaking.
“Will we break camp tonight, or will we stay put till the morning? All the men are wondering what will happen now that our reinforcements have arrived.”
“We will stay here for the night. The men have made a great over night camp so we will not make them break camp just to set up again in a few hours. Let them rest; they have been traveling hard for several days without more than a few hours of rest and sleep. From now on they will be well rested as it could be a very short time before we meet up with this creature. Let them know we are staying here for the night.”

* * * * *












Silver Paw crouched low and stalked forward towards the lip of the cliff face. Talifan watched Silver from further back, taking note of how his friend was acting. All the things that Silver Paw was doing convinced Talifan that the creature they had been after was just below them. Talifan signalled to the rest of his men that they should get ready for battle. As if to emphasize what he had said, an ear splitting shriek came from below the cliff. All the tigers growled in response to the sound, clearly wanting to get into action.
“Move slowly down around through the trees, be as silent as possible. We don’t know what we are up against yet so be very cautious. Move out and wait for my signal to start the attack.”
Everyone, tigers as well, moved out in all the directions they could, trying to be as silent as possible. Long moments passed before they were in place. As Talifan and Velenost got into position themselves, Talifan groaned under his breath and Velenost sagged with defeat before the battle could even begin.
“Well this is not what I would like to fight alone or even without a few hundred archers. This will be fun…I hope.”
“Come on now Velenost. I will admit that this is not going to be easy, but it could also have been worse than we thought. With the cats here, we have a little bit of a better chance. I will agree with you on the archers thought, a dozen or more would be very nice at this time.”
Almost before he finished the sentence, a swift movement off to their left caught Silver Paw’s attention. A low soft growl caused both Talifan and Velenost to look in the direction of the noise. A cloaked figure appeared in front of them, having leapt out of the tree directly behind them. The figure bowed its head in acknowledgement of Silver Paw. Silver nodded his head in response and rubbed his head on the figures out stretched hands. Lifting the hood off of his head, the stranger revealed him self to the Triapian Woodsmen captain.
“I could not help but hear how having some archers would be nice, and I do agree with you.”
“Look what the cat found! If it isn’t our good old friends the Warriors of Quandisan! Welcome to the greatest battle between man and beast. How many are you?”
“We number over one hundred, Triapian Captain. More than enough bows to make this huge creature a pin cushion. All I need to do is give the signal and my men will take it down with your and the tiger’s help.”
“Sounds good to me. What do we know about the beast we face?”
The Warrior of Quandisan looked in the direction of the monster.
“He is an ancient member of his race. He has been alone for a long time, and is not as strong as he once was. He will still cause us some trouble with those heads of his, but if can hit him from the sides, then that will cause his allot of confusion.”
At a nod from Talifan, Velenost gave a blast from the horn, while the Warrior of Quandisan loosed an arrow from his bow. With war cries, shouts, and guttural roars the Triapian Woodsmen and their allies broke from the cover of the trees and charged towards grey-brown hydra. Arrows sped towards their target with deadly accuracy. With a sharp cry, a woodsman charged one of the heads, his axe swinging with blinding speed. He closed the gap between himself and the beast with lightning speed, throwing himself at the head he had his eyes on. The head whipped down and blocked the blow of the great axe as the elf swung with all his might. The woodsmen and head began a deadly dance as each one looked for an opening through the others defences. With a yell that would scare any mortal warrior, the elf ducked a quick stab of teeth, coming up on the other side of the neck. Mustering all of his remaining strength, the elf swing his axe at the exposed neck just behind the head. Blood sprayed in all directions as the razor thin axe blade bit into soft flesh. Swinging the axe for a second time, the blade finally cut through the bone holding what was left of the neck to the head of the beast. With a triumphant shout the elf war party renewed their attack. Arrow and axe bit into flesh, heads were cut and legs were hamstrung. The hydra was bellowing in pain, and roaring in defiance of death. Silver Paw and the other Triapian Tigers had red paws and were tearing into the flanks, trying to get past the ribs so that they can get at the heart and organs. Talifan was administering to the woodsmen who had been injured and shouting orders to the others who were still fighting. The hydra was slowly starting to wear down, weakening from the loss of vast amounts of blood. The snow was no longer white or brown from the kicked up mud and dirt. The whole valley shone with a red glow as the suns light danced off the pools of life giving liquid that were in some areas as deep as a foot was high. Seeing that the hydra was on its last bit of energy, Talifan and all whose who could wield an axe threw themselves into the fray. The Warriors of Quandisan were also joining the fight with sword as all the arrows that they had were spent. All the elves took turns whipping in and out of the hydras reach. Each time and elf launched an attack; the hydra sprouted a gash that spilt the little blood that was left.
“He is almost done men! Let’s finish him off quick so that he does not have to suffer for to much longer. He may be a beast of Chaos, but he is also a creature of this earth.”
With new urgency, Silver Paw and the tigers tore into the sides of the beast. Loud snaps and cracks announced that they finally got passed the rib cage. With a growl Silver Paw tore the heart, lungs and liver out of the hole in the side. With one last shudder, the gargantuan beast toppled over dead, its body shaking in its death. There were a few moments of silence before all present shouted and celebrated the victory. The tigers roared and growled in victory. Silver Paw purred as he sat beside Talifan, his head tilted back as his elf friend scratched under his chin.
“You and your friends did a great job helping us today Silver Paw.” Turning to the commander of the Warrior of Quandisan; “And without your help my friend, we would have been hard pressed to take this old beast down. If you would not mind my asking, what are you doing so far from your homeland? I am not trying to pry into your life; I am just wondering what brings you into this part of the country.”
The Warrior of Quandisan looked past Talifan, back towards his home province. After some time of silence, he looked back at Talifan.
“I guess now is a good time to inform you as to who I am. My name is Tanlithan Werlaina, descendant of Alith Werlaina, the ruler of Shaleron. I was on my way to visit with King Reithar and discuss the new incentive program that has been introduced. We came across the foot prints of the hydra several days ago and have been tracking it since then.”
Talifan was in a small state of shock.
“It is an honour to be in your presence my Lord! If I had known who you were I would have been more courteous towards you as your station requires. I beg for your forgiveness sir.”
“There is nothing to forgive Talifan. You did not know and even had you known I would have asked you to treat me like one of your men. It is an honour for me to be in the presence of the King’s best general.”
“You show me great honour sir. May I ask what it was you were going to ask the king in regards to the incentive program? I may be able to answer your question as I had a hand in its creation.”
“If that is so then I must congratulate you on such a brilliant idea. My question was in regards as to the assistance the other noble families are giving the crown. The question I have is this: How much are the families paying over the fifteen year period to the crown to help with the incentive program?”
“That is a good question and one that is answered very simply. The original amount set by Lords Amanthri and Velenost was a sum of twenty thousand five hundred gold coins a year. All of the other Lords decided that they would not pay the amount set forth. They decided that they would pay double the set amount. For the next fifteen years, they will all pay forty one thousand gold coins a year. The King is not asking you to match the other Lords, and is not demanding that all help with the program.”
“The king is a very wise man. As a member of the Anar family, I pledge to match the amount of assistance set forth by all the other families in a leadership role.”
“On behalf of the King, I would like to thank you for your support in our effort to keep this country and land of ours strong and free. Will you return to your home now?”
“If you will have us, I was hoping that we could travel back to the capital together and discuss what my warriors can do to help with the training of our future defenders. I have been thinking it is long past time for all of Alandaria to be one again. We will never forget those who hurt us the most same as we have always remembered that it was our past Kings who have been there to help us in our struggles. We want to become active members in the daily running of our home country.”
Talifan looked at Tanlithan for a few short moments before offering his hand in friendship and brotherhood. Tanlithan took the hand, a large grin on his face. Looking about themselves, they noticed that the other Warriors of Quandisan and Triapian Woodsmen were greeting each other and just having a great time together. Little did they all know that the act that they were partaking in would be the start of a new friendship and brotherhood that would spread like a wild fire though out all of Alandaria.
© 2010
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[quote="Aicanor"]Yes, Sapherian princes are an evil bunch.[/quote]
Talifan
Posts: 708
Joined: Thu Feb 23, 2012 12:13 pm
Location: Saphery (Alberta, Canada)

Re: A New Beginning

#4 Post by Talifan »

Chapter 4

Talifan and Tanlithan sat talking about how things would be once the population started to grow by the fire in front of Talifan’s command tent.
“I can just picture the size of our forces in the next two decades. I am looking forward to when we can have armies of tens of thousands fighting to protect our great land.”
“Your vision is grand General Talifan. It will be a momentous day when we can once again call ourselves the most powerful force on the continent. That day is not as far away as we once believed.”
They continued their discussion for a few more minutes when a shout that came from one of the sentries to the east caused them to look up.
“Riders are coming in from the east, flying the royal pennant! They must be from the King!”
Tanlithan looked at Talifan with confusion in his eyes. They were but a few days march from the capital city of Ansalanon so why would the King send riders to them? Talifan stood and stretched.
“Well my friend, we better go and see what these riders are wanting.”
Tanlithan followed Talifan from the fire, signalling for his second in command to follow. Tanlithan and Talifan had been traveling together for several days now, and had become fast friends. They both shared many of the same interests; from literature and art to sports and foods. As the riders approached the camp, Talifan and Tanlithan waited in the middle of the camp with their sub-commanders standing beside them. Velenost, Tanlithan’s brother, looked over at Talifan with a questioning look on his face.
“What do you think they are here about General?”
“I honestly don’t know Velenost. If they are here on the King’s business, then we are the ones they are here to see and talk to. What think you Tanlithan? Are you a little interested to know how they will react to seeing Warriors of Quandisan and Quandisan’s oldest of Noble families? It will be a treat for the messengers that is a guarantee!”
Tanlithan chuckled as Talifan spoke.
“Yes my friend they will be for a large surprise. I do not think they expect to find anyone other than yourself and your men. It shall be interesting to see what their reaction is to be sure.”
Tanlithan signalled for all the warriors in the camp to form up into their units for a formal inspection by taking his horn into his hands from his side and blowing two long blasts. Talifan and Velenost looked at Tanlithan quizzically.
“If it is a messenger from the King, then I would like the messenger to witness how well organised we are. It will shock them into silence, or so I hope.”
Talifan shook his head slowly smiling all the while.
“Well we shall find out soon enough my friend. Here come the riders. The pennants are accurate to be from King Reithar. I wonder what they could be here about?”
The captains and their lieutenants did not have to wait long before the riders came into camp. The dust that followed the arrival of the riders settled quickly once they came to a stop. Talifan strode forward with Tanlithan right behind him.
“What kind of a welcoming party is this General Talifan? Were you expecting traitors come to kill you and yours under the banner of the King?”
Talifan stopped where he was and looked up at the rider who spoke. Recognition spread across his face as fast as the wind blew. Opening his arms wide in greeting and warmth, Talifan strode forward to embrace the elf who spoke.
“Uncle! What a surprise! If I had known, I would have had a pig roasting and a feast being prepared! What are you doing here under the King’s banner?”
Amanthri dismounted from his horse with a grunt and a curse that was barely audible. Stretching for a few quick seconds, he turned to face Talifan and Tanlithan.
“Talifan, I am here on my own accord. I have been named to the King’s personal staff. That is the reason for the pennants. I wanted to inform you of the honour that the King has shown me as soon as I could. He has given our family another great honour, an honour that was not expected.”
Turning to Tanlithan, Amanthri looked him up and down. Confusion was plainly marked on his face for a few seconds, but was slowly replaced with recognition and awe. Amanthri bowed in respect.
“I am honoured to be in the presence of one such as you, Lord Tanlithan. You may not remember me, but I remember you. You were but a child when we first met. It was at your father’s holdings where we were introduced. I was there on invitation from your father as he had wanted to talk about ways for your province to help the rest of our country. You were about ten years of age when your father and I were in our discussions. How is he doing now?”
“Lord Amanthri it has been a long time and I remember you well. You always came with a gift for my family. One of which was a tiger cub who you had found on your way to our holdings on your last trip out.” The smile that had been on Tanlithan’s face was replaced with sadness. “Unfortunately I have sad tidings concerning my father. He passed away more than twenty years ago. He was always talking about how well you respected our decision to keep to ourselves most of the time. His only wish was for me to keep up with his work of cooperation with the rest of our great country. So far I am doing quite well in that department if I say so myself. We helped your nephew here with his beast hunt.”
Talifan chuckled at the look on his uncle’s face.
“Tanlithan and his warriors had been tracking the beast from the southern portion of Quandisan. We had found out that it was not a lammasu, but a very old and dangerous hydra. I had stated to Velenost that it would have been nice to have brought some archers with us. At that point Silver Paw sensed that Tanlithan was in a tree behind us and that is how we came upon our brothers from Quandisan.”
Amanthri looked from his nephew Talifan to Tanlithan and back again to Talifan.
“I think I need to sit down to hear about how Silver Paw and his friends came to be with you, and how things progressed from there to now. It’s all too much for me right now; it’s all a little much at once.”
Amanthri followed Talifan and Tanlithan into the command tent where refreshments were waiting. The remainder of Amanthri’s party were invited by the remainder of the camp to rest and partake in dice games around the cook fires.
Talifan called out to Velenost to get some food for all of them, while he and Tanlithan caught his uncle up with what had happened since the two parties met at what they were now calling the Battle of the Hydra.
“So that is what happened uncle. We had been tracking what we had been told was a lammasu. What we did find was something much worse than a lammasu. Once we found out what it was we were going after, I decided to call in some help. The help came in the form of Silver Paw, his brothers and sisters, and another score of our Woodsmen who had been with them. When we found the beast, I made the comment to Velenost. That’s when we met up with Tanlithan, his brother and their host. In the confrontation with the beast, we lost four men. All of our lost comrades have been remembered by those they were taken from. Messengers from both parties of warriors were dispatched to inform the families of those who were lost.”
Lord Amanthri looked into the distance as he thought over what his nephew had just told him. After some time deep in though, he looked Tanlithan in the eye and could see the sorrow that decades of guerrilla warfare against small roving bands who thought they would be able to make an easy living of plunder from the small Elven villages had caused.
“My friend Tanlithan, tell me truthfully, what do you wish to accomplish with the peoples of Quandisan rejoining the rest of Alandaria after so many centuries of being separated due to a war that ripped our own country apart as the Nobles fought for their own gain?”
Tanlithan stood silent for a period. As the space of time lengthened, Velenost and Talifan noticed that Tanlithan was shacking very slightly, tears rolling down his cheeks. Talifan grabbed his friends arm as he started to fall, slowly lowering him to the chair that Velenost grabbed from the other side of the table. Tanlithan had turned white, and was shacking so uncontrollably that it seemed like he was suffering from shock. Under the caring hands and watchful eyes of his new friends, Tanlithan started to calm down after a few moments of extreme worry for Velenost, Talifan and Lord Amanthri. Once it seemed that he was back in control, Tanlithan took a deep breath, mentally preparing himself for what he would say.
“What I say now, I have thought about for decades. It was my fathers wish to rejoin the rest of the country, thought he never said how he planned to make the transition back into the fold of the respected provinces and families. My thoughts on the daunting task that is before my house and people have brought me to realise that the King himself would be the best person to ask. As we have been travelling to Ansalanon with our brothers from Triapia, I thought that the best way to offer the King the loyalty of my family would be to offer some of my best warriors to train new young recruits, to offer my master smiths to help with the creation of armour and weapons for the use of our glorious armies. I myself am willing to offer the King the use of my personal guard and myself to his protection. I am well aware of the reputation that his current guards have on the field, but my men are experts at secrecy, and the more guards our King has the better off he will be when we go to battle. We have not had a King like we have now, and to lose King Reithar would be catastrophic. As Talifan has told me, and as we discussed, on behalf of my family, I am pledging to pay the same amount per year for the incentive program as all the other Noble families. If the King should desire, then my family will pay more for the first fifteen years of the program. My father had a dream to reunite our family with the rest of the kingdom. That dream was thought to have died with him. He was killed while defending our home city from human armies from both Mentria and Galniran. Since the humans decided to wipe us off the face of Almangrathia, they have invaded Quandisan in an ever unrelenting wave. My Father was always leading our forces in the defence of the Kingdom. I still remember the battle that took his life. A runner had informed us that a force of some twenty thousand human soldiers from Mentria and Galniran. We had a force of hardened veterans that numbered a poultry seven thousand. I was with the archers and we were scattered about on the walls of the pass, while my father and his spearmen held the pass for more than three days. We were starting to push them back when a swordsman on a horse managed to get through his defences. I watched as he fell, then called on our small force to fight harder. We won the day, but lost more than half of our force, including my father.”
Amanthri and Talifan sat in silence for some time, absorbing all that was said. Looking each other in the eyes, Talifan seemed to make up his mind on some unknown decision.
“My friend, I say this with such honesty that I pray you will not take offence in any matter. Upon my own name do I take an oath of friendship. That oath is not just for friendship, but also an offering of family. I would be honoured to call you brother or cousin if that is what you would like. I offer my services and those of my men who follow me should your family and people require assistance in any form. You came to our aid, now we shall offer to return the favour.”
Extending his right hand towards Tanlithan, Talifan was extending the hand of brotherhood. Tanlithan clasped Talifan’s arm in what was known as the warriors grasp. Locking arms by grasping each others arm just below the elbow, the two friends created a bond not easily broken by any human method.
“I would be honoured to call you brother, Talifan. You and your family have already done so much for my family and people that it feels like we are true blood brothers.”
Laughing as they hugged and celebrated, Tanlithan and Talifan seemed oblivious to the presence of Talifan’s uncle Amanthri, who had to give a sharp whistle in order for the two others to realise that he was still there. Sitting down with sheepish grins on their faces, Tanlithan and Talifan finally started calming down.
“Sorry about that uncle! We were a little carried away. What is it you would like to say?”
“That is quite ok Talifan. I do not mind that you have fun. I am just wondering when the two of you would like to continue your journey to Ansalanon? The King is expecting you as soon as you can as he has questions for you that he needs answers to as soon as possible.”
Looking to Tanlithan then back to his uncle, Talifan thought for some time.
“We can be in Ansalanon in a few days time. We will rest here tonight, and then be back on the march come sunrise. Will you return ahead of us to inform the King?”
“I will be leaving here before long. I should be on the road in the next hour. To be completely honest, I should be leaving now, as there is allot of ground to be covered. I will bid you both farewell. Till we meet again in Ansalanon, take care and be safe.”
“Travel well uncle and we shall see you in a few days time.”
Tanlithan and Talifan saluted as Amanthri and his guard road out of camp.

Talifan woke to the sound of wild song birds. There was a faint rustle of a breeze through the trees and grasses. Silver Paw was still sleeping at the foot of the bed, rolled onto his back, paws twitching. Silver Paw’s tong was hanging out the side of his mouth, with a small puddle of drool created around it. Tanlithan was still sleeping with Silver Paw’s little sister Dawnstar curled up with him on his travel cot. Dawnstar had not been with her brother at the battle of the Hydra, but had followed the rest of the pride to the camp. Dawnstar had stayed at the camp and was called to eat after the battle had ended. Since then, Dawnstar had become great friends with Tanlithan, never straying far from his side. Talifan and the others in camp were always teasing Tanlithan, calling Dawnstar his soul mate and saying that she was infatuated with him. It was in all honesty, the cutest thing that any of them had seen in a long time. Shacking his head, Talifan walked out of the tent he shared with Tanlithan, marvelling at how simple things seemed to be. Talifan knew better than to know that things would always remain this way. With a large sigh, Talifan walked over to the cook’s wagons to break his fast. As he walked, his mind went back to thinking about what the future held. Fewer dragons were able to be roused from their deep slumbers. Knowing that the key to a safer country was its military, Talifan was hoping and wishing for the incentive program to work as well as he was wanting it to. After grabbing a bite to eat from the cooks wagon, he sat by the river that was just a few hundreds yards from the edge of the woods where the camp was situated. The river was so gentle as it meandered through the valley that they were in. His thoughts went to his home village, how he had not been back in so many years and how he missed seeing his family. As his thoughts drifter further into the world he missed, he failed to hear the sound of a quickly approaching animal that could pose a great threat. A huge white shape flew through the air and smashed into Talifan, sending him sideways for several feet in the sand. Looking up from the flat of his back, Talifan saw a pair of blue eyes set into a huge head with creamy white fur on the snout. Giant canines gleamed in the sunlight just inches from his face. A growl emanated from the giant maw. Talifan paused, not knowing what to do. As if the tiger had read his thoughts, it drew its head back a few inches and proceeded to lick Talifan’s face with its huge tong.
“Ewe Silver! What was that for?” Pushing Silver Paw off of himself, Talifan sat up and looked at the giant tiger. “What am I going to do with you? You always do that! Every time I'm not looking, you come out of no where and tackle me! You are such a little stinker.” Silver Paw just sat there and watched Talifan as he got off the beach and dusted all the sand off himself. With a slight sigh, Talifan turned to his faithful friend and pretended to be cross with him. Placing his hands on his hips, and looking at him with a cross expression, shook his head in mock fury.
“What do you think you were doing Silver Paw? You could have hurt me or even worse, killed me! That was unacceptable on more than one count. I could have killed you if I had had my axe or dagger. I never want to hurt you.”
Silver Paw sank to the ground, his tail wrapped around him. With drooping ears and eyes, Silver looked at the ground and moped the way only giant tigers could. He lay down with his head on his large velvety paws. Large pearl like tears slowly fell down his face and dampened his fur, darkening it. Talifan’s face softened as he noticed his best friend in such a sad and dejected shape. Kneeling down beside Silver Paw’s great mane, Talifan hugged the great kitten. For several moments of silence Talifan hugged Silver without any movement.
“I’m sorry my friend, I never meant to hurt your feelings like this. It saddens my heart to know that you have been injured by my words. You didn’t mean to cause me any harm, I know that now. You were just very happy to see me, am I right?”
Silver Paw looked up into Talifan’s eyes, his own blue reflecting in Talifan’s warm honey brown eyes. Silver’s tears that had not spilt down his muzzle acted as mirrors, reflecting the river running past them as they sat on the beach. With a small sniff into the air, Silver Paw raised his great head and turned it so that he could lick Talifan, showing him that all was good and that he had no hard feelings towards his best friend. Pushing Talifan over onto the ground again, Silver Paw threatened to drown him in kisses. Talifan was laughing so hard in a matter of moments that he had to start pushing his friend away so that he could get some fresh air. Laughing and struggling for breath, Talifan rolled on the ground to get away from the insistent tong. Finally getting to his feat, Talifan tackled Silver Paw from the same side that he himself was tackled. Landing hard against the tiger’s side, Talifan threw his weight behind himself and took Silver Paw down. With great strength, Talifan managed to get onto the chest of the cat and started tickling. With reluctance, after several minutes of gentle torture via tickling, Talifan stopped and allowed his great friend to get up and catch his breath.
“So this is what happens when no one else is around to see you two together.”
Talifan spun around so quickly he lost his footing in the loose sand and landed on his backside. Looking up from his new position, Talifan could see Velenost walking towards the river from the edge of the trees. Velenost has a great big smile on his face that must have matched how Talifan was feeling; happy and full of life.
“What do you think this is Velenost, a free country where you can just walk un-announced so you can scare someone?” Talifan was laughing as he asked the question. “What does my friend want that he should sneak up on me?”
Velenost was chuckling as he walked over to Talifan and helped pull him up onto his feet. Clapping his friend on the back, Talifan went in for a hug, but instead of it being friendly, he proceeded to throw Velenost over his shoulder onto his back. Velenost hit the ground so hard he bounced, causing all the wind in his lungs to rush out in a great whoosh.
“I guess I deserved that, didn’t I.” Velenost managed to pull a shaky breath into his rattled lungs. “I may have deserved that, but it still wasn’t very nice of you to do that to me without warning.”
Velenost was once again on his feet, leaning against Silver Paw who had come over to lick him while he was down. Talifan still could not get over how quickly Silver Paw accepted Velenost as part of the pack; it was almost as if the two of them had grown up together.
“To what do I owe the pleasure of you spoiling my morning so early?” Talifan asked with a grin, knowing that Velenost would easily take the ribbing.
“Well Captain, I come over to see what your thoughts were on breaking camp so that we can continue on our way to Ansalanon. Your uncle himself stated that King Reithar was anxious to hear of what we accomplished and to meet with Lord Tanlithan. The force must get back under march Captain. I do not say this lightly, but it is a must.”
“I know this Commander, and so it is with a heavy heart that I order you to call the men from sleep to break camp. We still have several days march ahead of us, so we need be going as soon as we can. You know the drill Commander Velenost; it is a pity but a necessary act of evil.”
Velenost bowed to his Captain, and left to call the men from their slumber with Silver Paw at his heels. Talifan slowly made his way back to his tent to pack his gear in preparation of the dismemberment of the camp. As he neared the tent that he shared with Tanlithan, Talifan heard the clear and vibrant notes from the war horn that Velenost was using to call the men to their duties. Already they had slept for several hours longer than was normal on campaign.
“Why must he always use that same horn to wake the men? It’s inhumane my friend, it is not the best way for them to wake, with the sound of a dragonling crying.”
Talifan was yet again shocked by the sudden appearance of one of the members of his party. Recovering much faster than before, Talifan looked back towards the tent entrance to see Tanlithan leaning against the entrance polls, a huge grin on his face. Tanlithan strode out from the shade and into the sun of the day towards Talifan, Dawnstar at his heals. Noting the look on Talifan’s face, Tanlithan knew that something was on his mind, something not easy to fix.
“What darkens your mind so my friend? What could cause you to loose your smile and have it replaced with the look of someone who is in much pain?”
Tanlithan had reached his friend, and was looking at his pained face, trying to figure out what could be wrong.
“Oh my friend, I am troubled by what will happen when the human kingdoms realise that we, their mortal enemy, are growing stronger and will be more powerful in the next twenty years. I am fearful for the future of our race, for the future of Almangrathia. The Mentrian and Dalarcinian kingdoms are very strong kingdoms, and it is all we can do now to keep our borders safe from their ever stronger raids. Several weeks ago we lost more than seven hundred men out of ten thousand. We were combating a Mentrian raiding force and we lost that many men.” Talifan was silent for some time as Tanlithan stood and patiently waited to hear more of his friends troubles. He wanted nothing more to be able to put Talifan’s fears to rest, as fear was the only think that could eat away at the most pure of souls.
“I am sorry Tanlithan; I don’t mean to trouble you with all my fears. The last few weeks have been hard on my conscious. My mind is very troubled and that is not a good thing. I am in need of a cleansing retreat so that I can filter things out of my mind.”
Talifan was looking downcast and lifeless. Tanlithan put his arm around his friend, pulling him into a quick embrace. Stepping back from the embrace, Tanlithan looked at Talifan.
“My friend, you do not need a cleansing retreat at all. What you need is some time off so that you can be in the company of friends and those who care about you. I have only known you for a little period but I already know that I can call you a friend. When we get to Ansalanon, maybe the King will allow you to have a leave of time so that you can rest, after all you have been very busy in the last few weeks with little or no time to relax and recharge.”
“That would be a wonderful thing, to be able to recharge and relax. I would love to be able to spend time off duty for a bit.”

It was nigh on noon by the time the camp was all ready to move out. Talifan, Velenost, Tanlithan, and Tanlithan’s second in command and brother Valalonion were at the head of the column. All the men from the two different provinces were laughing and having a great time together. The march was going very well, with nothing out of the ordinary happening to slow the progress of the column. With close to a hundred seasoned warriors of great stature among the peoples of Alandaria.
“What do you think of all that has happened in the last few weeks, Valalonion? What kinds of thoughts have you had?” Talifan was looking at Valalonion as they walked, reading his facial expressions to help make a decision. Valalonion thought for some time as was a very common elfin trait. After some time of deliberation, Valalonion turned his head so that he was looking Talifan in the eyes, to show that he trusted and respected the Triapian Woodsmen Captain.
“My Lord Talifan, I hope you can forgive me if I say anything that would offend you. I am very honoured to have finally met the one who strikes fear into the hearts of those who would think to invade our wondrous country. I think on the same lines as my brother when it comes to the harmony of our country, to the unity of our people. It is past the time that our provinces became one country again, allowing for a more unified front against those who would wish us dead. My thoughts on the incentive program are just as my brothers and yours. The program will work to such a degree that we will see our forces almost double if not triple in the next two decades. With that increase, we will be the strongest we have been in more than several hundred years. King Reithar is a wise King and has been looking for a solution to our dwindling population, but until now, until you came up with the idea, no-one could have come up with an idea this promising. Your mind is as swift as your axe, thus causing you to be the most formidable member of our race yet. What are your thoughts though, if I may ask, on the fragile relationship we have with our cousins who live on the cost of Dalarcini? It has long since been rumoured that we have cut all ties with our cousins in Uthsidhwen.”
Talifan looked at Valalonion with a smile on his face, knowing that here was another who would make a great councillor to the King as he was a very bright and sharp minded individual.
“My friend Valalonion, you have said nothing that could offend me in any way of the words. I am very happy that you are very much like your brother Tanlithan as he is a very wise and sharp minded person. As for the question pertaining to Uthsidhwen, there is nothing else I can tell you as I don’t know anything that pertains to the situation. As far as I know, our cousins broke the alliance we had due to some trade disagreements that cropped up several decades ago. I am interested to know what happens in the future though as a new alliance with them could be very benefitial for both of us. We will be able to offer them more protection and with a larger population we will also be able to offer more goods and items. So we shall see what happens.”
Tanlithan looked about himself at the others.
“I don’t think that the Uthsidhwen can afford to not have an alliance with us even now. We still are very powerful and can still offer a large amount of trade. With our population set to explode, they will see us more as their best friend than they do now. Let us just hope that the Mentrian and Dalarcinian Empires do not decide to wipe us off the face of Almangrathia. If they choose to join forces, then there is nothing we can do to stop the more than one hundred thousand men that would spill into the Pass of Quotress. Let us hurry on to the King and go from there. There is much yet to be done, and we have little time to do it in my friends.”

* * * * * *
© 2011
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Re: A New Beginning

#5 Post by Talifan »

This is just the "Notes" so that you know who is who and all that jazz!



Character Names
Commander Alyaidron – Captain of the Gold Watch
Amanthri – Talifan’s Uncle
Commander Velandar – Commanding officer of newly formed Manticore Bolt Thrower Units
Commander Mirthan – Commander of the new Fortress of Quotress
Dawnstar – Silver Paw's little sister
Falinver – Architect from Quandisan
King Reithar – Elven King
Lord Ivelerost – Council Member
Lord Evenstar – Council Member
Lord Favilian – Council Member
Lord Monarithan – Queen Soloryaia’s brother from Faerondalan.
Lornaren – Architect/Weapons Designer from Quandisan
Prince Elthimar – Prince from Djermond Province, in charge of the Djermond Dragons
Prince Jaren – Prince Elthimar’s oldest son
Queen Soloryaia – Elven Queen
Silver Paw – Talifan’s White Tiger Friend
Talifan – Captain of the Triapian Woodsmen and General of Alandarian Forces
Lord Tanlithan Werlaina – Leader of Quandisan province
Ulithan – Architect/Weapons Designer from Quandisan
Velenost – Sub-commander of Triapian Woodsmen
Lord Valalonion – Tanlithan’s Brother and second in command of Quandisan forces.

Cities/Locations in Alandaria
Valenta:
Anslaidaron – Main castle of Alandarian Royal Family.
Ansalanon – Elven Capital City
Tulduroc
Delgall
Almvair
Quandisan:
Quotress Pass – Main access point into Alandaria in the Malankithan Mountains
City of Quotress – City that sprung up by the Pass of Quotress to support the Pass Garrison
Queras’lin
Shaleron – Capital of Quandisan
Quotress Fortress – 4200ft long, 200ft wide, and 300ft high. Gates: 100ft wide each, 30ft thick.
Triapia:
Tria-Thor – Talifan’s home town in the province of Triapia
Tria-Valan – Capital of Triapia
Tria-Falhilrn
Tria-Paynol
Elandi Mountains – Small Mountain outcropping in Alandaria
Zanrith:
Anthir – Port City known for it ship yards
Hyran
Alein
Eanthor:
Orinthal – Capital of Eanthor
Funried
Chilaren
Latterton
Faerondalan:
Lydal
Sundal
Ferovale – Capital of Faerondalan
Seregha
Djermond
Falvir
Arrosfar – Capital of Djermond

Alandaria’s Provinces
Triapia – Province of Alandaria. Talifan’s home province known for its fierce axe wielding warriors and
Giant tiger like cats
Quandisan – Province of Alandaria that had suffered greatly during past wars.
Djermond – Province of Alandaria noted for its Elite Heavy Cavalry, the Dragons.
Faerondalan - Province of Alandaria that is Mountainous with gentle flowing rivers and flowers in
Abundance. Home province of the Queen and her personal guard.
Zanrith – Costal province in the western portion of the Kingdom known for its ship yards in Anthir
Valenta – Costal province that houses the Capital City of Ansalanon.
Eanthor – Costal province known for its endless plains and war chariots

Alandarian Provincial Units
Warriors of Quandisan – Specialized unit from the Province of Quandisan in Alandaria known for their
Archery
Triapian Woodsmen – Personal Guard of Elven King armed with giant axes
Triapian Tigers – Giant tigers known only to populate the Triapian Province
Djermond Dragons – Elite Unit of Heavy Cavalry from Djermond Province
Faerondalan Guard – Elite Female Forces sworn to protect the Queen who hails from Faerondalan Province
Eanthor War Chariots – Eanthor provinces special unit
Valenta Home Guard – Elite Swordsman from Valenta
Gold Watch – Elite Unit of Swordsmen who defend the Royal Family at home

Locations and Kingdoms of Almangrathia
Alandaria – Elven Homeland
Nagrath – Barbarian Kingdom
Almangrathia – Continent that houses the main Kingdoms
Mentria –Kingdom of Man
Valmhein – Kingdom of Man
Ulgrath – Barbarian Kingdom
Galniran – Kingdom of Man
Dalarcini – Kingdom of Man
Uthsidhwen – Elven Kingdom on West coast of Almangrathia beside Dalarcini
Malankithan Mountains – Mountain chain that separates Alandaria from rest of Almangrathia



Other Characters from Almangrathia
Duke of Rathskul – Duke from Mentria


I also have a full map of the Continent and am working on a map for the Elven Capital. Once again Anything that you think needs changing let me know!
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Re: A New Beginning

#6 Post by Aicanor »

I read first part so far and my advice would be to write more about the characters, there are quite a few and I would like to know more about them. The central (?) theme of re-populating the kingdom is of course something we would like to see, but it in itself doesn't make a good fantasy story.
Is the problem that these Elves have too little money to raise children, or are there other reasons for their predicament? Perhaps this could be discussed a little more in the story?
I will write more comments as I read through next chapters.
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Re: A New Beginning

#7 Post by Elessehta of Yvresse »

Huge block of text is HUGE! You should have done it one chapter at a time, would have made it so much easier to get through ^_^'
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Re: A New Beginning

#8 Post by Talifan »

yeah, I guess I could have just added one chapter at a time. I will be making a Prologue that will explain what happened and who the characters are. Sorry Tiralya
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Re: A New Beginning

#9 Post by Elessehta of Yvresse »

Maybe this is Asur arrogance talking but this line irked me a little:

“The king is a very wise man. As a member of the Anar family, I pledge to match the amount of assistance set forth by all the other families in a leadership role.”

The suggestion that the King is a man of any sort is terrible!
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Re: A New Beginning

#10 Post by Talifan »

Thank you for pointing that out to me! I will change that ASAP. Also, the Anar name has to be change...just realised that as well.
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Re: A New Beginning

#11 Post by Aicanor »

I read the rest of your story and can post some more comments. I can see how much time and effort must have gone into it. What you could concentrate on is restrict the number of characters (and places), it is like playing Warhammer: every character must make up for his/her points. Do not introduce them until they are needed. Let them do more in the story, let us see what they are wearing, what they like, what they fear, what they can and can't do - best way to do this is in the action.
Take the fight with the Hydra as an example: the Hydra does nothing, it stands there and lets the enemy shoot it (mostly) from afar - it attempts nothing -> wasted points. Its inaction doesn't allow any of your characters do something remarkable, it doesn't make the reader fear for any of them.

My other advice would be to concentrate at one thing at a moment and make it "one battle at the time".

I do not know if I managed to explain what I mean, but I hope it helps and not the other way around. I love reading stories.
Tiralya wrote:Maybe this is Asur arrogance talking but this line irked me a little:

“The king is a very wise man. As a member of the Anar family, I pledge to match the amount of assistance set forth by all the other families in a leadership role.”

The suggestion that the King is a man of any sort is terrible!
This is strange - there must be a difference between man and Man/Human. "Elf male" is not the best thing to use either. You may use Elf of course, but I like some variation.
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Re: A New Beginning

#12 Post by Talifan »

Thanks for the comment Aicanor. Your advice is great. I will be re-doing the book as what you all have said has helped me understand what needs to be done. I have been siting on it for some time without knowing what to do to make it better. The Hydra battle will be altered unsubstantialy so that it flows better. I will be adding a Prologue that will help introduce the characters and the situation that led to the low population in the first place.

I am going to focus on the re-write and hold off on finishing chapter 10. It has been 15 months in the making so far and whats another month of editing to make it perfect, or as close to perfect as can be?
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Re: A New Beginning

#13 Post by Elessehta of Yvresse »

Aicanor wrote:difference between man and Man/Human.
In my book, man has two meanings, the male of the human species, and the masculine term for the human species. Neither of which fit with Elves of any race, in the warhammer universe, I use 'Asur', or 'the people' when talking about the race.
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Re: A New Beginning

#14 Post by Aicanor »

Good luck with your work Talifan!
Tiralya wrote:In my book, man has two meanings, the male of the human species, and the masculine term for the human species. Neither of which fit with Elves of any race, in the warhammer universe, I use 'Asur', or 'the people' when talking about the race.
Maybe my opinion reflects the fact that in my mother tongue we have different words for man and Man.
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Re: A New Beginning

#15 Post by Elessehta of Yvresse »

English is complicated, they like to take short cuts so the dictionary isn't huge, it's terrible ^_^
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Re: A New Beginning

#16 Post by Aicanor »

Tiralya wrote:English is complicated, they like to take short cuts so the dictionary isn't huge, it's terrible ^_^
Tell me about it! But in this case I think it is more about aesthetics than anything else. I will try to keep it in mind if I ever get brave enough to write a story in English.
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Re: A New Beginning

#17 Post by Talifan »

Ok, after listening to some really great ideas and advice, I have written a new chapter 1 describing some of what was going on to cause the loss of population. It is to be followed by a new chapter 2 giving more detail. Chapter 1 is a total of 23 pages long, bringing the total of pages completed to over 160 pages. A small sneak peek into chapter 1 for you all!


Chapter 1

Flames crackled in the night from torches as the humans and their dark allies made their way down the road towards the town of Tria-Thor. Their plan was to slaughter the noble family who looked after the province of Triapia, as well as all other noble families in the country of Alandaria. The elven families who stood with the human warriors from the country of Mentria were doing it for greed. They wanted control of the country, not to be under the heel of a King they did not approve of. There were a total of seven noble families from the province of Quandisan, the most northern province of Alandaria, allied with the Mentrians and they were bringing more than one hundred and twenty thousand warriors to bolster the more than one hundred and fifty thousand troops from Mentria.
“When we get into Tria-Thor, leave the defenders to my warriors. As we are elves, we will be able to convince there is nothing wrong and then take city from under the fool Ranthia family’s nose. Once you see the signal, unleash your men to have their fun.”
The elf who was speaking was the leader of the rebel forces and should the rebellion be successful, would become the new leader of the Elven nation. His name is Vanar Mernian and his family has hated the Royal family for several generations. The Royal family, in his families mind had been snubbing the nobles of Quandisan, not allowing any of them to be on the Elder Council, or allowed to participate in any of the election processes for laws. The man that Vanar spoke to was Mentria’s number one general, Lord General Gregore Vonhasles. The Lord General was not a man to listen to orders, especially from a lowly Elf, but he humoured Vanar just to keep his allies happy.
“It shall be as you say Lord Vanar. My men are itching to eliminate your enemies as they are also ours. We will wait for your signal.”
The Lord General signalled his men to stand by as the elven traitors marched on passed towards the lights of Tria-Thor. More than fifty thousand elves were marching under the banner of the Mernian family and all of them were bent on destroying the country that they once fought for under the current King and they were bolstered by another fifty thousand Mentrians. The elven force reached the Ranthia family manor within several minutes after leaving the main road, with only Vanar and his personal guard approaching further than the gate. As Vanar neared the door, it opened to reveal a young female elf of maybe 10 years of age. The young girl looked at Vanar and his guard, then down to the gate, taking note of the armed warriors that were gathered there. The girl’s eyes widened with shock as the realisation of what was about to happen struck her.
“Father! Father! We have been…”
Vanar’s sword blade cut off the last few words as it erupted from the young elves back, killing her immediately.
“Stupid little girl, had to go and open her mouth. Well, so much for the element of surprise.”
Turning back to his guard, Vanar gave the signal which was then passed onto the waiting Mentrian forces.
“Kill them all and then burn the manor to the ground.”
The night was quickly filled with the sounds of screams as the joined forces bent on destroying the country invaded the town, killing all they could find and setting all houses within reach on fire.

Just hours later found the town a smouldering ruin, not one building left standing or undamaged. Vanar and his human allies had left hours before the sun started to rise again, thinking all inhabitants were dead. There was however someone still alive and wandering around the burnt out village. The sole survivor was young, only 5 years in age and had been hiding in a cave just to the north of the town that was hidden by a dense stand of evergreen trees. The young child was the youngest son and only survivor of the Ranthia family. His name is Talifan and he knew what he had to do as his father was always preparing him for any situation. Talifan was looking for a weapon so that he could protect himself on his journey to the capital of Ansalanon to warn the King of the danger that was rampaging without check, killing at will. Bending down in the ruins of his family’s ancestral home, Talifan uncovered his fathers axe and shield, both marred by soot. Tears started to form at the corners of his eyes as he remembered his father and other family members. It wasn’t long before his little body started shaking from the shock of what had happened, from the shock of what he had seen, hidden from sight. Slowly regaining his composure, Talifan started off in the direction of the capital city to warn of the treachery of the seven Noble families.
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Re: A New Beginning

#18 Post by Aicanor »

A massacre then.
How did the enemy approach unseen with approximately 250 thousand soldiers? I must say it sounds hardly believable. Unless you can spirit the army there and then spirit it away (think of the headache their quartermasters would have when trying to come up with ways to keep such force fed!).
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Re: A New Beginning

#19 Post by Talifan »

I believe I have it stated that the force is split into three? In a heavily wooded country, you can hide anything.
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Re: A New Beginning

#20 Post by Aicanor »

Talifan wrote:I believe I have it stated that the force is split into three? In a heavily wooded country, you can hide anything.
I didn't catch that. Even so, it cannot be easy to hide a quarter million of soldiers, it is a great number. Napoleon at Austerlitz had around 75 thousand. But what I meant, the army has to get there somehow and it is very unlikely that no one would notice such a force moving.
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Re: A New Beginning

#21 Post by Talifan »

That is true. I will be addressing that problem in the second chapter. Also, the book is very rough still. I have yet to fine tune it and add to it where it is needed. My main goal so far is to get it finished, then I will address problems with how it is written and add where explanations are needed.
[color=#FF0080]Live and Fight with Honour, for We are the Most Noble[/color]
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Re: A New Beginning

#22 Post by Aicanor »

Talifan wrote:That is true. I will be addressing that problem in the second chapter. Also, the book is very rough still. I have yet to fine tune it and add to it where it is needed. My main goal so far is to get it finished, then I will address problems with how it is written and add where explanations are needed.
Do not think of it as a problem, it's one of the greatest challenges to a fantasy author to make his world work, and also most rewarding. You will know you got it right when the story explains itself through the plot.
My greatest challenge is that I am unable to finish anything properly. I will have to try as hard as you. :wink:
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