Viscid Syrup

[Facade19]

I.

Silent Tango
with liquid splashes
alluring illusions
leading me to
strange new places.

Wet escape from sobriety
inviting hallucinations spark
A shivering abode
a well of luscious collisions.

Generous damp fountain
wild drops of confusion
quickening phantom hour
a cobweb of masquerades.

Spasms of razor marks
carved flesh offerings
piercing torches burning afresh
adorned silhouettes on trial.

II.

When I hold you close
and feel your breath's rush
the frost subsides
my heart regains it's flush.

The benign being of you
restores all shaking grounds
your everlasting voice
resurrects me with its' sounds.

No need for more sad parables
and useless riddles
cold empty symbols
fruitless, barren fiddles.

One more hit and there I go
flying high above all
feeling no more sorrow
I am going to stand tall.

Today I made an angel appear
I felt no fear, I drew near
in her spring waters I found comfort
in it her beauty was clear.

III.

Early dawn, sunrise
in this tasteless cold
I see light.

Human bondage, ubiquitous
self-forgetting free love
brutally honest pangs.

Soft whispers and caresses
gentle touches
carelessly distributed around.

Damp mud, blindness
in this wind all around
as change fades on.

A road ahead
traveled on by stains
billions and more.

IV.

Fragile colors in the river
pigments of transparent moisture
disclosures of every little fractures
lying beneath every ostensible closure.

V.

In her prayers I found no shelter.
In her love I am no better.

[Andruillius]

As you probably guessed I'm only in the story section because it's sunday and I'm bored, but I'll try to be consctructive.

I only read your first...poem, I guess will call it, properly, and besides from making me think "I thought my English vocabulary was better than this", I liked it. That is, I liked the first three verses. The fourth sort of doesn't fit in. The three first verses were a nice way of describing the atmosphere of a drunken mind, the last verse dragged all that into a morbid pit of disappointment. I think it's hard to comment on poems because they're so personal, but there you go.

Oh, and you need to fix your "its"es in the second poem. Other than that, I didn't read it well enough to comment.