Musings on Dragon Princes - Part I

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Arondight
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Musings on Dragon Princes - Part I

#1 Post by Arondight »

(This used to be in the fluffs section, but RK told me it's more appropriate here. Part I.)

Q: It is said that a lone Silver Helm once rode down three giants, fourteen ogres and also rescued a princess all in the same day. Is this true?
A: Dragon Princes can do everything they can do, except better.

Q: Is Ithilmar Armor comfortable?
A: Only armor in the old world with a menthir-powered self-cooling and air-circulation system, complete with invisible visor-wipers in case of bad weather. Scratch resistant, steel-resistant, and stylish to match. Get your today for 103,392,392,382 gold today! Dwarves need not apply.

Q: Why haven't the druchii tried to invade from Caledor?
A: The ratio of armored DRAGON chariots equipped with mobile repeater bolt throwers, missile launchers and shotguns to Caledorians is approximately 45:1. And you can be sure all the boys are just DYING for a chance to try their little thingies out on some poor hapless invader.

Q: If you're "Dragon Princes," then why are you on horses?
A: Because. To prove that we're better than you, we can kick your ass WITHOUT our dragons. Asuryan forbid if we get our large friends.

Q: How come there hasn't been a Dragon Prince hero?
A: Every single one of us is a heroic figure in our own fight. That, we have heroic codpieces. Beat that.
((Author's note: this is actually interesting. We've had Shadow Warriors (Alith Anar), Swordmasters (Blind elf and Obi-wan - um, Bel-something, Phoenix Guard (Carrie) and White Lions ((Elf Norris)) respectively for each of the HE elites, but no Dragon Prince heroic. Perhaps such a thing will be introduced in the future?

That, and I swear one of the older edition Dragon Princes have a "thing" on his crotch that I can only describe as a codpiece. I'll take a picture of him as soon as I get a camera.))

Q: How many Dragon Princes does it take a repair a light source?
A: ....Fetcheth me a servant,varlet. Me? WORK?

Q: Why do you guys attract cannon fire?
A: We have magnets hidden in our armor. Isn't that obvious?

THIS IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT

Princes! Nobles! Mages! Looking for something more stylish than a chariot, faster than an elven steed, and more killy than Korhil on foot? Fear not! Caledorian DragonCorp (Copyright) has the perfect solution for you! Behold the mighty STAR DRAGON! Incinerate all in your path with MIGHTY DRAGON FIRE! Scatter your opponents with his mighty aura of TERROR! NOW WITH BONUS CUPHOLDERS! What are you waiting for? Call [long string of elven numbers] today, and receive a free 15% off rebate on your next purchase!

Caledorian DragonCorps, bringing YOU the lowest prices in mounts today. Lowest prices guaranteed.
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Colors are fragrant, but they fade away. In this world of ours, nothing live forever. Today, let us cross into the realm of reality, and let there be no shallow dreaming.

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Musashi
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Re: Musings on Dragon Princes - Part I

#2 Post by Musashi »

Arondight wrote:(This used to be in the fluffs section, but RK told me it's more appropriate here. Part I.)

Q: It is said that a lone Silver Helm once rode down three giants, fourteen ogres and also rescued a princess all in the same day. Is this true?
A: Dragon Princes can do everything they can do, except better.

And without breaking a sweat. See below.

Q: Is Ithilmar Armor comfortable?
A: Only armor in the old world with a menthir-powered self-cooling and air-circulation system, complete with invisible visor-wipers in case of bad weather. Scratch resistant, steel-resistant, and stylish to match. Get your today for 103,392,392,382 gold today! Dwarves need not apply.

And fur-free. PETA would approve.

Q: Why haven't the druchii tried to invade from Caledor?
A: The ratio of armored DRAGON chariots equipped with mobile repeater bolt throwers, missile launchers and shotguns to Caledorians is approximately 45:1. And you can be sure all the boys are just DYING for a chance to try their little thingies out on some poor hapless invader.

They discovered their armour wasn't fire-proof. Malekith can vouch for that.

Q: If you're "Dragon Princes," then why are you on horses?
A: Because. To prove that we're better than you, we can kick your ass WITHOUT our dragons. Asuryan forbid if we get our large friends.

Not that we need them, but the horses have feelings, too, and need to feel fulfilled.

Q: How come there hasn't been a Dragon Prince hero?
A: Every single one of us is a heroic figure in our own fight. That, we have heroic codpieces. Beat that.
((Author's note: this is actually interesting. We've had Shadow Warriors (Alith Anar), Swordmasters (Blind elf and Obi-wan - um, Bel-something, Phoenix Guard (Carrie) and White Lions ((Elf Norris)) respectively for each of the HE elites, but no Dragon Prince heroic. Perhaps such a thing will be introduced in the future?

That, and I swear one of the older edition Dragon Princes have a "thing" on his crotch that I can only describe as a codpiece. I'll take a picture of him as soon as I get a camera.))

Dragon Princes actually have something worth protecting.

Q: How many Dragon Princes does it take a repair a light source?
A: ....Fetcheth me a servant,varlet. Me? WORK?

Others may stumble, but darkness is no barrier to our sight.


Q: Why do you guys attract cannon fire?
A: We have magnets hidden in our armor. Isn't that obvious?

Envy.

THIS IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT

Princes! Nobles! Mages! Looking for something more stylish than a chariot, faster than an elven steed, and more killy than Korhil on foot? Fear not! Caledorian DragonCorp (Copyright) has the perfect solution for you! Behold the mighty STAR DRAGON! Incinerate all in your path with MIGHTY DRAGON FIRE! Scatter your opponents with his mighty aura of TERROR! NOW WITH BONUS CUPHOLDERS! What are you waiting for? Call [long string of elven numbers] today, and receive a free 15% off rebate on your next purchase!

Caledorian DragonCorps, bringing YOU the lowest prices in mounts today. Lowest prices guaranteed.

Warning: Improperly fed, Dragons may cause local depopulation of lifestock.
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[color=red]Surprise is an event that takes place in the mind of the enemy commander[/color]
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[url=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_1AfDgZttw]Sunrise[/url]
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[i]But this did not surprise them, for as it is written in the Great Elven Book of Knowing:[/i] Isn't life just one bloody thing after another.
Luna Guardian
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Re: Musings on Dragon Princes - Part I

#3 Post by Luna Guardian »

Arondight wrote: Q: How come there hasn't been a Dragon Prince hero?
A: Every single one of us is a heroic figure in our own fight. That, we have heroic codpieces. Beat that.
This, or then the fact that there hasn't been a heroic dragon boy since Caledor the Conqueror. And he died.
Arondight wrote:THIS IS A PAID ADVERTISEMENT

Princes! Nobles! Mages! Looking for something more stylish than a chariot, faster than an elven steed, and more killy than Korhil on foot? Fear not! Caledorian DragonCorp (Copyright) has the perfect solution for you! Behold the mighty STAR DRAGON! Incinerate all in your path with MIGHTY DRAGON FIRE! Scatter your opponents with his mighty aura of TERROR! NOW WITH BONUS CUPHOLDERS! What are you waiting for? Call [long string of elven numbers] today, and receive a free 15% off rebate on your next purchase!

Caledorian DragonCorps, bringing YOU the lowest prices in mounts today. Lowest prices guaranteed.
Marketers shouldn't be allowed to state falsehoods and outright lies, that's just plain wrong. NOTHING is more killy than Korhil on foot (except maybe Korhil in his Catmobile)


Highly amusing, as always. Keep 'em coming :D
Prince Deral Lionbane, head of the House of Lionbane, Lord of Lionstone and Warden of Tor Charta

Luna, try not to beat them too hard. They are proud about their pseudo-glorious past and their present nothingness, you know.
-Elmoth, about Caledorians
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Paraicj
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#4 Post by Paraicj »

Eh...Imrik? Prince of Dragons? Heard of him, no? :D

Other than that, entirely accurate. Apart from the shotguns.
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Telnor
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#5 Post by Telnor »

man i never got yo use imrik.....that's the one hero i wanted to use from 6th edition too....

but any way congrats on another great comedy thread!!
"Don't Lower your spears Until you see the White of their Eyes.... and when you do POKE'EM INNA EYE."

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Elias Kalderon
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#6 Post by Elias Kalderon »

Arondight wrote:you can be sure all the boys are just DYING for a chance to try their little thingies out on some poor hapless invader.
That sounds just so very wrong, considering half the Dark Elf troops is female... ánd considering half the Caledorians is gay.

Those little thingies are the whole problem of Dragon Princes. Why do you think they have such an inflated ego, why they carry lances, why they ride big armoured horses or even dragons? They're always compensating. And those codpieces are just there to make it look like something.
[size=75]I'll think of something[/size]
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Son of Khaine
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#7 Post by Son of Khaine »

know why the Empire needs Cannons, Steam Tanks and GREATSWORDS

Compensation
Dont get me started on CHAOS

Son Of Khaine
Life of my life, Death’s bitter sword
Hath severed us like a broken word,
Rent us in twain who are but one...
Shall the flesh survive when the soul is gone?
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