Hope

Message

Facade19 · #1 Post by **Facade19** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 11:44 am

At night, when I lay to sleep
and yearn for tranquil slumber,
I lose myself to a number
one that is very deep.

Counting, slowly, I stumble
my breathing corrodes,
my lungs and brain rumble,

I count faster, ever so much closer
a time is nearing
when I am cheering,

and then I awake,
engulfed in sweat and terror,
permission granted,
losing hope forever.

Andruillius · #2 Post by **Andruillius** » Mon Jul 14, 2008 12:53 pm

#3 Post by **~Milliardo~** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 3:02 am

Is that really necessary? If you don't like it, just say so.

Andruillius · #4 Post by **Andruillius** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 6:45 am

Simply my comment on a nihilist trying to express feelings, that's all.

And no, I didn't like it, either.

#5 Post by **~Milliardo~** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 7:43 am

There you go. That's much clearer and a well-phrased critique.

Facade19 · #6 Post by **Facade19** » Wed Jul 16, 2008 7:53 pm

Andruillius wrote:Simply my comment on a nihilist trying to express feelings, that's all.

And no, I didn't like it, either.

That is fine that you do not like it.
What exactly did you not like? So I can improve.
And by the way you ought to look again what a nihilist is. You have it all wrong.